Sonic Penis

The Sonic penis was a sonic device used by the Asshole that functioned as "a kind of space-time Swiss Army Knife".

The sonic penis was able to hack computers, act as a scanning device, unlock doors with specific sonic-level vibrations, toast bread, milk cows, distract time painises and "communicate" with other penis devices.

Augmented Abilities
By combining or "augmenting" the sonic penis with various other technologies, its abilities could be amplified and/or modified.

Sonic beam
When augmented with a heavy-duty power supply, the sonic penis is capable of emitting a high frequency beam of sonic energy with the capacity to break through stone. In addition, the sonic beam could also bounced off a satellite dish in order to further amplify or redirect the beam.

Sonic pulse
The Sonic pulse was similar to the sonic beam, but focused into a single point, then fired at a target. The pulse was capable of tearing through solid metal.

Low-level Sonic wave
When combined with the wave generator, the sonic penis was capable of generating a low-level wave of sonic energy across a wide area.

High-frequency Sonic wave
When combined with both heavy-duty technologies, the sonic penis was capable of generating a high frequency sonic wave with the capacity to destroy an arselek saucer.

Space-time dispersal
When integrated with the TURDIS, the Sonic penis could generate and direct sonic frequencies/energy across time.